I thought it all started from a conversation. "It" was the idea and concept that I needed to dig deeper. The idea that there is something out there that is bigger than me, yet a part of me. That there would be something that would draw me to whatever that bigger thing was. I remember it vividly. Here I was in my office, an administrator, someone who worked with students every day. I was as an educator, a supervisor, and someone who prided herself on challenging others to reach their fullest potential. And yet, deep down inside I knew I was not living what I was preaching. Here I was with a successful career and undoubtedly in a position where I could impact those around me. However, I knew that was not enough. Being in this position was one thing, using this as a vessel to impart meaningful change was another.  I was too afraid to step outside of my neatly shaped box. But something kept tugging at me, inside of me. There had to be more to this life. Married with my fear was restlessness and a desire to do more.  I was overcome with a strong desire to finally follow whatever that calling was.

I had a meeting that afternoon with a colleague at my institution. He and I were supposed to discuss ways to collaborate and have our departments work more closely together. There were the typical formalities and then somehow, at some point the conversation changed. We were talking about our life journey and how we often felt this “thing”. This feeling deep inside that you are going to be called to be or do something greater that what you imagined. It was this unexplainable feeling that would keep us up at night and grip us with fear, excitement, and humility all at the same time. “What will we be called to do and how will the dots in our lives connect to create the picture we were so dying to see?” I will never forget his words. “The Lord is constantly aligning you to discover what He has called you to do". He said that every interaction, conversation, and situation was preparing me for something bigger than myself. Interesting. I was intrigued. He went on to tell me about his journey and how he was finally starting to see all the pieces pull together. Even more real was this; the realization that his dreams were coming to fruition was all too scary. What if he was actually a part of something bigger than himself? Even scarier, what happened if he actually answered that calling? As he was sharing his larger-than-life dreams, I felt fear, excitement, anxiety, and impatience engulf me all at once. I too felt what he had been feeling. I understood it, but was too afraid to embrace it. For the next few days, I thought long and hard about that conversation. I started paying more attention to every conversation, every interaction. I was desperately trying to find meaning in my life and yet I was equally afraid to find the answer. 

I was at a conference a few weeks later when I had a conversation with a woman that would change the way I looked at my purpose and calling forever. We started to talk about the importance of people identifying their God-given passions and talents to then use them to inform the work they did as well as all their interactions with others. This got me to start thinking. I then asked her this question: “How do you know when you have reached your full potential?” I will always remember her response. She thought for a while and then said “There is no such thing.” Huh? “Yes there is no such thing. You will never reach your full potential because there will always be opportunities for growth. However, while you can’t reach your full potential, you can be at peace. Being a peace is truly about finding that God-given, innate gift and using that to inform your world. When you know you are doing your life’s work, then you will be at peace.”